Results usually follow anticipation. Is that kind of like “be careful what you ask for?”. I’ve been thinking a little about expectations, about how if they are misguided then my outcome is probably going to be something I don’t like.
This thought has been rattled around in relationships through the years. In my marriage, at times, I’ve somehow unconsciously and non vocally expected things. Then when they don’t happen, the disappointment appears. The first bump is that others aren’t supposed to read your mind. Second bump is considering if that expectation was a reality on the other persons side.
Lately I’ve had the thread of this idea in my head concerning Bible reading. I have tried and tried, but I’m just not a Bible reader. It’s great if I want to get more confused or if I can’t sleep, but to read hoping some vibrant clear message that will clarify my life will drop out, well then, that’s just never happened. Now other people have interpreted something from the Bible and that is great. I always wonder if they have been reading the same thing I was. So there goes that expectation thing again. I’m beginning to see that my expectations of the Bible needed tweaking if I was ever going to have a shot of finding it a good read. I’m learning. Not a Bible reader yet, but I am understanding the sense in which it was written and what it was meant to be.
The same view of God holds true. I held a childlike view way too long. A simple good vs bad thing. I used God as an insurance policy, and at the very least a “get out of jail free” card. You know, we’ve all done it, “God if you just get me out of this mess, I will ___”. I’ve found He/She is no genie, no puppeteer . So as my expectations change my outlook and my journey changes. I look within as much as I can, and I stumble often. I’m still busy being human, but I think God is just thinking “Well, what ya gonna do with them, they are only human”. I’m learning to lean on mercy, grace and love, not damnation, hellfire and discouragement. Learning to except that we are all loved, every life on this planet, loved just the same by the one Creator, giver of life. What an astonishing thought. Makes me reach to be more inclusive. Like folks have said about Jesus “never saw him build a wall, just a bridge”.
.It’s a little early and not enough coffee in the bloodstream yet, so I hope this post has made some sense and touches you somewhere on your path.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts on these things, it’s the best way for me to grow and you never know how your thoughts can touch someone else.