Not Currently !

I will speak for me here, but I wonder if to some degree it isn’t true for many of us. When I was a young man, I was trying to create who I was. I was doing this by sort a sculptors approach. I was defining myself or my image by what I didn’t like. I used a lot of “nevers” and “not in a million years”, and “I wouldn’t be caught dead” type of language. Like most young people I thought I was chiseling these things I stood against out of  stone, and they would carry me through my years. As anyone with some years on them that is reading this, you know how this doesn’t really hold true for the long road.

I was talking with someone the other day and they asked if I read the Bible. Well, I’m not a big Bible reader, in fact very rarely. In my younger years I would have felt compelled to state my case strongly and adamantly. Giving all of my reasons why, and if they read between my lines they would sense from me why they shouldn’t either. Fill in the blanks, I would have said I hate _____, I would never do ______. Again trying to project my image by defining what I’m against. In this situation I found myself just saying, , not currently. It kind of surprised me, but it felt good that finally at 51 I was realizing that I should be sculpting out of soft clay instead of granite. That life is soft clay, full redefinition, re learning, second chances and forgiveness. Now I’m thankful I have lived long enough to let go of “nevers”. I find great warmth and value in things that I couldn’t have in my youth.

It kind of opens life up and allows so many avenues of learning and understanding. It takes pressure off. So you may find me one day doing things I never thought I’d do ! You may see me with a Bible in hand, watching a musical, driving through Massachusetts, saying no to an island trip (ok , maybe not that), but I’m open to whichever the winds of growth and expansion are blowing. I might even wrap a fork around sushi !! There’s hope for us all. Maybe “not currently” is the way to go.

Does this resonate with any of you? Any value here? I must confess, I write this just days before an island trip, and I’m listening to Jimmy Buffett’s “Trying to reason with hurricane season”, a song I loved for 30 years. Did I forget to mention, I love traditions !!

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4 thoughts on “Not Currently !

  1. Thanks for your reflection, Glenn. My experience is similar to yours. I don’t know if you’re familiar with the writings of Richard Rohr, but he writes of the “two halves of life” (an Eastern idea).
    The “first half” is all about ‘building the container’ of your life and the “second half” of life is about ‘exploring the contents of the container.” The first half is all about ‘either/or’ (exclusion) and the second half is all about ‘both/and’ (inclusion). Rohr speaks of this also as a move from the ‘small picture’ (“it’s all about me”) and the ‘big picture’ (“im a part of something much bigger than me”). He is quick to point out this these two halves of life are not chronological: some ‘move into’ the second half of life when they are still quite young chronologically; others “move into” it in later life … and some never move.
    As you point out so eloquently, there is a real liberation in learning that life is about “leaving doors (options) open rather than closing them. It’s a lot more fun to live life in an open-ended way!

  2. Takes me back to the days at SSHS where we just had to stand for what we thought was right and cool and in the process had no idea what we really stood for. But we found it and many did not,so keep on truckin’ and keep on sharing!!

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