To Just Be

This probably isn’t so much a post on spirituality as it is on life or getting older. I was raised to think of others or at least care what others think. As I ran that through my life filters, I perhaps created it into something that it wasn’t intended to be. I worried what others thought too much. At some point I had to let that go. For years I tried with effort to let it go but I still felt trapped by those thoughts. As I’ve become older I’ve had little tastes of what letting go really means to me. I couldn’t do it with effort as much as I just had to divest myself from that thinking. Perhaps think of other things and the more I did that the more I just forgot about the other stuff !

I’ve always felt a connection to the Creator. I wouldn’t define that within any religious system, but rather an undeniable sense of something beating in my soul. As I wander along I am feeling that the big truth is in many, many small things, like prisms in glass. Slivers of truths, all equally important for each individual. I can no longer confine the Creator to only my thoughts or anyone else’s thoughts. To no religions, traditions or cultures. None own the truth in its entirety, but we all own a piece of the truth that belongs to our soul. I believe the Creator shows up everywhere in everything.

For now I am still way too hungry to have my voice heard. Too hungry to be right. Too hungry to own all of the truth. I hope my future stages will have me letting go of that hunger, and leave me just basking in the peace and comfort of knowing that my honesty and vulnerability with the Creator is enough.

I’m sure many will disagree with these thoughts. Some will be worried for my soul. Some will think I’ve gone off the deep end. Some will think I am right on track, but really none of it should matter to me. My road is mine, just as yours is yours. I hope we all reach a point where we are so comfortable with our beliefs, that not only do we need to be shouting them but that we also don’t have a desire for the praise or need to defend the criticism.

At some point I hope to just be.